Lt.Cmdr Tug Johnson’s Log 0001.01: Seriously!

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Holodeck

Attention Crew of the USS Boner: The Holodeck is for public recreational use. I know some people get more caught up than others in the Holodeck and things may get out of hand…and that’s okay…BUT please clean up anything you leave behind that is not a hologram! I MEAN……SERIOUSLY!…………SERIOUSLY!….EVERYTIME! I try to use it for my daily nude yoga lessons with Mahatma Ghandi I GOTTA SPACE MOP THE STUPID HOLODECK FLOOR! COOOOOOME ON! and don’t you guys tell me it’s La Forge because he hasn’t been here in weeks! I checked the logs! So please……clean up after yourselves….

Lt. Commander Frantz Log #0007.00

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Good News, Bad news.

Mating Ritual of the "brat"

First, the bad news. We arrived Saturday at Planet Laser Tag to find the revolt totally out of our hands. A race of small humanoids called Bratious or “Brats” had clearly taken over the planet. The “Brats” had strange behavior patterns and eating habits. The Brats consumed large amounts of sugary drinks called soda and an unusual looking disc shaped food called pizza. Brats also have a complex social structure. The “Brats” travel in packs with their numbers as high as fifteen. They communicate w/one another is a series of loud and frequent high pitched shrieks. They are followed at all times by larger humanoids. These larger creatures have no say in the behavior of the Brats but watch over them at all times to insure the Brats safety. Very Strange, indeed. Continue reading →

Lt. Commander Frantz Log Number 0006.00

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See, right there.

There is a buzz running through the decks of the USS JH Boner. Dork Trek, the new podcast that watches and reviews each episode of TNG is now New and Noteworthy on ITunes. Don’t believe me? Look slightly to the left.

Things are taking place for the podcast. If you are a fan of TNG then this is a podcast for you. If you don’t like TNG this is still a podcast you can enjoy. We are very silly and stupid. So, listen one and all. Good times.

Lt Commander Frantz. Out

Lt. Commander Frantz Log Number 0005.00

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Today is going to be a very exciting day. My crew members and I are going to record another edition of Dork Trek today. Episode 2 will be released today as well. I am very happy that people are enjoying the show. It is nice to see there is still a love for TNG.

Planet Laser Tag

After the recording and release of the podcast, my shipmates and I are being deployed to Planet Laser Tag. From what we understand there has been an upraising against the Federation and it is our job to investigate and engage the rebellious populous. I am nervous and excited about our mission. I just hope the situation can be resolved peacefully.

Lt. Commander Frantz. Out.