1MC Announcement: Attention crew of the USS John H. Boner…first thank you for your dedicated service to our wonderful ship. We have gone to exotic planets and experienced wonderful things! We have been at the tip of the spear in exploration, humanitarian aid and defense and for that we thank you. That being said, with every positive there is a negative……there is a rumor going on that the last 13 away teams we’ve deployed, every Redshirt crewman have been KIA.This is not true….some were injured….and eventually died. Although we do regret the passing of Ensign Wigglestooth…sorry she captured by the Mugatos on planet Nueral and was mauled and eaten and Enlisted crew member Toshiba that was a transporter accident he was beamed right inside the warpcore…I think Chief Engineer Argyle is looking into how he did that ANYWAYS…So whoever is starting said rumor…whoever you are (cough Ensign cough Merritt cough cough) please cease and desist such malarky! This is not helping crew morale and it really makes it hard for the officers to find a volunteer on away missions….I mean Jesus Christ! You know how much Latinum it costs for a bottle of Saurian Brandy just to get Ensign Szatkowski drunk enough to go for an away mission?! Those things are expensive! Although maybe it wasn’t a good idea to get him drunk before going on an away mission…that’s probably why he stumble right infront of that barage of Cardassian disruptor rifle fire….

Ensign Donald Szatkowski

Szatkowski…you will be missed! BUT BESIDES THE POINT! THERE IS NO CURSE OF THE REDSHIRT! That is all! Carry on! Oh and lunch for the day is an old Earth dish…Meatloaf with a side of mashed potatoes and gravy.

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