Crew of the Boner,
Hello I am writing this to inquire about some possible suspicious activity that was happening around one of your transports when you came into earth’s orbit last. I believe it has been hijacked by somebody impersonating a Star Fleet officer! This rather hulky fellow landed in the middle of TWO parking spots at the district Star Fleet Child Hearing Court. I asked the gentlemen to move his transport to the proper designation but he insisted that “Na it’s cool, I’m the stylish one of the group.” whatever that means I’m not sure. He then turned to my female companion and proceeded to ask her a series of questions of the most uncouth-ed nature. The most obscene of which was “Hey baby you ever had a ungreased back door fuck-a-thon with a phaser set to donkey punch pressed to the back of your head?” I don’t know what was more troubling the question itself or the fact that she seemed kinda into it…..but whatever. He then completely ignored the reason he was parked at the court and got back into his transport ship with the my female companion and told me “Thanks for the Space Whore, guy I owe you one.” and then he took off. Now I know the boner is Captained by Notpatrick Stewart and I’ve always admired him so if a spot does open up on the Boner I would like to call in the favor this “LTC Tug” (I don’t know that was just was was spray painted all over his ship) had promised me and be considered to fill the slot. If he is not part of your crew please be on the look out, for there is a guy dressed like an Asian Space Uni-bomber trolling around in one of your transports.
Respects,
Lt. Zachary C. Hayes
P.S. Also if he IS one of your crew members you might want to let him know that the female companion he acquired was actually a guy at one point. “She” just went through Space Sex Change operations…so yeah…..there’s that.
We’ve alerted Boner security about the suspicious activity, Lt Hayes…thank you for your vigilance! In regards to your “companion”, we’ll keep an eye out for shim…She-he may be a great addition to our staff at 10 Forward…
This episode isn’t one of TNG’s standouts in my mind but it has some good moments. I had forgotten about Data’s eulogy though. Thank you for reminding of it.
Good job guys. Keep the reviews coming.