Last saturday I had my first party since moving to Deck 5 of the USS Boner! I’d say it was a great success. I served a few 21st century delicacies such as Ikea swedish meatballs and cheesy bacon dip with potato chips, and filled a cooler with a case of Space PBR. We were all set for a good time.

The tropical punch that I made took several of us by surprise, and if that wasn’t bad enough, Ensign Izzo brought a large pitcher of Romulan Ale that was stronger than the smell of a Klingon’s ass after Taco Night in 10 Forward.  Being used to Synthohol,  we quickly succumbed to the effects of the alcohol and started losing inhibitions. Before I knew it I was taking off my shirt and dancing like an Orion slave girl.

Everyone had a great time and soon enough things were getting reeeeal sexy on deck 5. We were certainly upholding the reputation of this infamous section of the quarters! Things were becoming a bit of a blur but I am pretty sure that at some point I may have kissed at least one or three of the guests…ok maybe four…

Unfortunately the next day after all of the festivities were over, I was giving LCDR Ben a ride in my shuttlecraft (not a euphemism, this time) when a young Andorian party girl piloted her space ship right into ours as we left the hangar bay. She was easily going at warp 4.5 and didn’t yield the right of way.

Despite the fact that the nearest Starfleet medical facility had Dr. Crusher on staff (we were prescribed some Robitussin and “good old fashioned country medicine” to heal our contusions) we are both on the mend and will be calling Lowell “the Space Hammer” Stanley to help our case.

Lieutenant Commander Ben’s crutches are apparently made of titanium alloy, same as they used on the space shuttle in the 20th century.

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