Crew of the Boner. I would like to apologize for my recent absence from the ship. I had to take care of some pressing matters back on Earth. First I hope during my absence that you guys found Ensign T’Les! Continue reading
1MC Announcement: To the crew of USS Boner. This is a ship-wide proprietary transmission for the crew USS John H. Boner only. I need a favor. You remember that missing Ensign, Ensign T’Les from USS Crazy Horse? They were the ship parked next to us at Starbase 187? Here’s the thing….I may have slept with her. Continue reading
Starfleet Soccer Team Emblem
Well I’ve returned from temporary duty with the Starfleet Soccer Team and I was disappointed to see that I missed the mighty Boner’s visit to the world of Baltimore ComicCon. Many a year have I wanted to pull into port at a Class CC planet, but it looks like I may have to wait until the next solar cycle.
Nevertheless, after reviewing unofficial reports it appears that my crew mates enjoyed a very successful mission in spreading the Dork Trek philosophy…hopefully this will yield more subscribers to tune in to our bi-weekly subspace transmissions! Only time will tell…
LCDR B&A sends…
Chief Engineer On Watch,
It’s no secret…I may have bedded down a few space sluts…and some classy space ladies. They know the moment they felt my touch that we are just two space copeople just getting together for the night. Like two starships passing in the alpha quadrant…that is all. Unfortunately some are reluctant to leave my quarters and sometimes the Boner Continue reading
Good News, Bad news.
Mating Ritual of the "brat"
First, the bad news. We arrived Saturday at Planet Laser Tag to find the revolt totally out of our hands. A race of small humanoids called Bratious or “Brats” had clearly taken over the planet. The “Brats” had strange behavior patterns and eating habits. The Brats consumed large amounts of sugary drinks called soda and an unusual looking disc shaped food called pizza. Brats also have a complex social structure. The “Brats” travel in packs with their numbers as high as fifteen. They communicate w/one another is a series of loud and frequent high pitched shrieks. They are followed at all times by larger humanoids. These larger creatures have no say in the behavior of the Brats but watch over them at all times to insure the Brats safety. Very Strange, indeed. Continue reading