Chief Engineers of USS John H. Boner,
As you all know I am an old fashioned Starfleet officer and a gentleman. There are two things I don’t like in this universe, lack of sense of humor and Transporters! That’s right! Now, I can’t talk about the lack of sense of humor thing since that’s still pending investigation…because apparently being space drunk and and mooning the Defiant thru the view screen is not funny according to Lt.Commander Worf! Now as far as transporters…I just don’t feel comfortable being split to atoms and put together somewhere….what if some kinda bug like a fly gets in the beam? before you know it I’m like that old 2oth century movie…the one with the annoying guy Jeff something…I forgot his name but he’s a blabbering idiot…remember what happened to crew member Toshiba? Into the warpcore he was beamed in. Anyways not to mention when we covertly beam into a planet it makes that loud sound…where it comes from and why it does that is beyond me. So listen Chief Engineers of USS Boner, I need a huge favor and when you do me a space solid it goes a long way. I need you guys to make sure that no one uses Shuttlecraft 08…I intend to use that for all missions and R&R. It is also imperative NO ONE SITS ON THE THE PILOT SEAT! That is my seat..it has my body mold on it! GOD FORBID SOMEONE MOVES THE SEAT BACK OR RECLINE IT…I WILL RAISE SO MUCH SPACE HELL! But please…do this favor for me my crew. That’s all.
P.S. I’ve taken the liberty of marking the shuttle 08 so you guys will know which one it is. See space picture below.
MINE! MAKE SURE NOBODY USES THIS SHUTTLECRAFT!
Lt.Commander Tug Johnson
Would you be so kind as to make sure nobody uses shuttle craft
The sad thing is Lt. Commander Black and Asian will probably be blamed for this…Well, at least half of this!
Thanks to my ninja heritage, I was able to ensure no traces were left behind…
I’m not sure if it’s appropriate but I’ve heard several of the flight deck crewman referring to this shuttle as “The Tug Boat”. I’ve also heard a few references to a “Tug Boat Willy” from a couple female junior crew members. Is this something the chain of command needs to know about?
You might be on to something, Lt Cmdr Ben…Lt Cmdr Zell was telling me the other day that Sick bay keeps running out of sedative hypo-sprays, but I’m sure that’s just a coincidence…
No no coincidences here…things just happen and some things just disappear…space time worm hole probably caused some of those hypo-sprays to disappear…that is all…
I assure you that all of the sedatives have been moved to a secure location. Only I have the key to the lock box where they are kept.
Several other medications have been missing and I am now keeping a detailed inventory. I better not find a space meth lab in this so-called Tug Boat.